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seductive kisses
seductive kisses

Sexual workout.

Friday, May 14, 2004
I don't post much on the weekends, and its been a pretty foul week, so I leave you this weekend with something that will make you laugh, or cringe. Depending on your sense of humor. I know I have weird sentence structure. But oh well. lol. This is my blog, not my magnum opus. Have a great weekend everyone.



SEX CALORIES
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the carbohydric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research, they are proud to present, to the LOVE group, the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent: 12 Carbs
Without her consent: 2187 Carbs, and a trip to the hospital.

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands: 8 Carbs
With one hand: 12 Carbs
With your teeth: 485 Carbs

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection: 6 Carbs
Without an erection: 4315 Carbs

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris: 8 Carbs
Trying to find the G-Spot: 4092 Carbs

POSITIONS:
Missionary: 12 Carbs
69 lying down: 78 Carbs
69 standing up: 812 Carbs
Wheelbarrow: 216 Carbs
Doggy Style: 326 Carbs
Italian Chandelier: 2912 Carbs

ORGASMS:
Real: 112 Carbs
Fake: 1315 Carbs

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging: 18 Carbs
Getting up immediately: 36 Carbs
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately: 816 Carbs

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years: 36 Carbs
30-39 years: 80 Carbs
40-49 years: 124 Carbs
50-59 years: 1972 Carbs
60-69 years: 7916 Carbs
70 and over: Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly: 32 Carbs
In a hurry: 98 Carbs
With her father knocking at the door: 5218 Carbs
With your wife knocking at the door: 13,521 Carbs

PLEASE NOTE: Results may vary |
2:21 PM :: ::
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