seductive kisses
seductive kisses

She'll leave you with a smile.

Friday, July 30, 2004
. The weekend has arrived. Don't ya just love it?

. I'm on a diet. A boy diet. I've been good for an entire week. Yeah yeah... I know it isn't that long. But to me.. it is.

. I went shopping with my mother today. And my niece, Halee. I bought another new pair of jeans, 2 shirts, 2 bottles of body spray, and a candle. Jasmine. Mmm. I ate french fries and drank a Dr. Pepper. I fought with Halee about who got to sit up front. lol. We both act like we're 3. But... she is 3. She won...

. I have plans with friends Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I might just reschedule the plans for tonight and go out alone. I like my alone nights more and more. So I should definetly do it at least once a week.

. I went out last night with a male friend. We drank, played pool, sang too loud, laughed too loud. But by midnight I told him that I was tired and I went home.

. I don't have the energy to update further. So... 'til Monday. I leave you with this...

Are you addicted to sex?

1. Do you regularly purchase sexually explicit magazines?
2. Are you preoccupied with sex?
3. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is abnormal?
4. Do you often feel badly about your sexual behavior?
5. Has your sexual behavior ever interfered with your family life?
6. Have you been unable to stop your sexual behavior even though you know it's inappropriate?

If you answered yes to any of these... you may have a problem.

. I said yes 5 times.

. Have a great weekend, ya'll. |
5:24 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Theater Thursday.

Thursday, July 29, 2004
Week 11 - My Life.

This week the topic is YOU.

1) If there was a movie to be made about your life, what actor/actress would portray you? I'd rather portray myself. But that would be kinda kooky, no? So I guess I would want someone that is obviously talented but that also looks a bit like me. And that would be Mena Suvari.

2) What actor/actress would portray your love interest? Your best friend? My love interest, ha. Vin Diesel would make a very nice fling. As would Jared Leto. And my best friend... that would be Heath Ledger. Accent and all.

3) What would be the title of your film? Sometimes She Forgets.

Bonus) What moment of your life would be the highlight of this film? Too many to choose from. I've had a rather eventful 20some years. It'd be a surprise. Yeah... you never see it coming.

Be sure to leave your name and blog link in the comments. If you don't have a blog, post your answers in the comments.

4:08 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

I want to come over.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
. The last few days have been busy. Nothing exciting, just busy. Fall semester begins August 23rd. My schedule is so messed up. I thought my tuition issue had already been settled but apparently not. I still haven't received my letter saying that it is paid. I talked to my guidance counselor and she said I wasn't even registered for fall classes. What?!?!?! I did all of this crap at the end of the spring semester. Hello!!! Anywho...I think we got that part settled but I'm still leary about it. So I plan to bug her at least once a week until classes start.

. I saw an old friend yesterday. We've known each other since we were 5. We just don't hang out so much anymore. We had sex one time and one time only. Just one of those things that sometimes happen between friends. He looks at me today and says..."So, you wanna go half on an orgasm?" I looked at him and said simply..."We did that already and I didn't get my half." Ha. I can be so rude. He knows it was all in fun. He laughed. Don't yell at me.

. Watching the Democratic National Convention coverage on television has been nothing if not annoying. The only part that has been surprising is listening to Barack Obama. It amazes me beyond belief when a politician actually makes sense. Not only did I understand him, I was uplifted by him. His words were very inspiring and full of hope.

. I cannot believe that it is Thursday already. This week has went by so fast. I feel like I haven't been home at all.

. Nothing much planned for the weekend. Just the usual debauchery.

. Outback Jack: I don't think I can watch it again. It really stresses me out. lol.

. My head aches.

. Song that I cannot get out of my head:

Melissa Etheridge - I Want To Come Over.

I know you're home. You left your light on. You know I'm here. The night is thin. I know you're alone. I watched the car leave. Your lover is gone. Let me in. Open your back door. I just need to touch you once more. I want to come over to hell with the consequence. You told me you loved me that's all I believe. I want to come over it's a need I can't explain.To see you again. I want to come over. I know your friend. You told her about me. She filled you with fear. Some kind of sin. How can you turn denying the fire? Lover I burn. Let me in. Open your back door. I just need to touch you once more. I want to come over. To hell with the consequence. You told me you loved me. That's all I believe. I want to come over. It's a need I can't explain. To see you again. I want to come over. I know you're confused.I know that you're shaken. You think we'll be lost once we begin. I know you're weak. I know that you want me. Lover don't speak. Let me in. I want to come over. To hell with the consequence. You told me you loved me. That's all I believe. I want to come over. It's a need I can't explain. To see you again. I want to come over.

11:53 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Who's gonna drive ya home tonight?

Monday, July 26, 2004
. Thursday... I went out. I drank, I played pool, I had sex. Friday was the same. Just a different boy. I know, I know... I'm awful. Please don't send me evil e-mails. If you don't like what I write about, don't read it. I'm just being honest. This is my life. I practice safe sex. I'm over 21. And I am single. So please... no more e-mails. I respect your opinion, but not if you're gonna tell me that I'm going straight to hell.

. Saturday I went to a party at a friend's house. One of my old friends I've known since childhood showed up. I only see him twice a year because he works all of the time. Out of town. We left the party and went to a club for a few hours. Then we went back to the party. This guy is one of a handful of male friends that I have that have never attempted to hit on me. Sure, he jokes about it all the time. But he's never tried anything. And even though he is hotter than hot, I am comforted by the fact that sex isn't an issue between us. He's going through a nasty divorce and I thought he might have been a little lonely and pressed the sex issue, but he didn't. And for that... I love him. He stayed over and I could have kissed him when he asked for a blanket and pillow so he could crash on the couch. But that would have defeated the purpose, huh? Ha.

. Sunday was about the same. Hung out with friends and just lounged around. Went to Burger King, and I ate an entire Whopper and fries. I could faintly hear my ass screaming... 'stop it'.

. Today I'm doing a whole lotta nothing. Looking for a new car. Thats about it. My sister keeps calling, wanting to use my computer because she crashed hers. Not only does she want to use it, she wants me to deliver it to her house. Can you say... NO!

. And guess what? I'm hungry again. I'm not sure why I have this new obsession with food. But I feel the need to increase my Tae-Bo workouts.

. I go back to school in less than a month. And I feel like I haven't done anything this summer. At all. I better get to it. =)
2:22 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

A need I can't explain.

Friday, July 23, 2004
. Yeah, I went out last night. I'll elaborate Monday.

. I'm too distracted to do a normal post. Normal, ha. What is normal? Let's not get into that...

. So, I'm just gonna do a silly quiz. And post some lyrics. That is how I feel today.

. The weekend has begun, so I am in a good mood. =)

I'm Weak Inside
Against All Authority.

Another day in this broke down place
The towers grow and the skies are slowly replaced
With the cold gray structures that lay to waste
Everything that stands in the way
Stare at the ground as I walk on by
You make me sick and I hate what I feel inside
As I lobby for acceptance, you know I've tried
Another life for you to nullify
I'm weak inside because I see the shape of things to come
I'm weak inside because I don't change what's begun
I'm weak inside because I hate what I've become
I'm feeling empty as I struggle with my thoughts each day
Just a drone who contributes to his own decay
An apathist who's sweat and blood grease the wheels for pay
Just a whore for the puppeteer to whom I obey
And nothing changes...No nothing changed today
I close my eyes and keep my mouth shut
Why am I afraid to stand up and knock them down
When I've been betrayed
You've been conditioned to accept everything they say
So I walk on but I start to stumble
Through the ruins of a life that's troubled
By the expectations I'm conditioned to struggle for
My possessions leave me self-absorbed
So many bombs I've left unblown
The streets are crowded and I feel so all alone
Stacking bricks that to this day remain unthrown
Yet I'm the one to cast the first stone.

You Suck ^-^
-Bad- You're the exact opposite of what any guy
wants or needs, unless he happens to need a
quick lay. You're cruel. You toy with people.
You're probably a bitch, and i don't think i'd
like you if i met you. Oh go screw a random
male already.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

. You've been warned, boys.

. Have a great weekend, ya'll.

10:38 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Theater Thursday.

Thursday, July 22, 2004
Week 10 - Moments.

This week's Theatre Thursday is dedicated to those Onscreen Moments that stay with you forever.

1) What moment from what movie still makes you laugh out loud - no matter how many times you see it? The part in Bruce Almighty when Jim Carrey is making the anchorman blubber like an idiot on live TV. I laugh so hard that my friends make me leave the room because they can't hear the movie.

2) What moment from what movie still makes you cry like a baby - no matter how many times you see it? 28 Days. When Sandra Bullock is talking to her sister. She says... "I'm sorry I make it so impossible to love me." It really hits home.

3) What moment from what movie made you actually turn your head from the screen - either in fear, revulsion, or contempt for the fact that you actually paid money to see the film? Frailty. The entire movie made me feel sick. I was in a daze for a week. I could not get the thought of it out of my head.

BONUS) What is one single moment from a film that is indelibly etched in your brain? Not a scene or a sequence exactly, but three or four seconds from a movie that contain an image or phrase or concept that transcends normal movies? I know, I am the biggest nerd. But every minute of Dirty Dancing is indelibly etched in my brain. Every second of it. I watched it when I was on the cusp of becoming a teenage girl. And we all know how teenage girls can be. To this day, when I watch it, its like watching it for the first time.

Take a Moment and answer these questions, and you'll feel you've flown across the moon..

Be sure to leave your name and site address in the comments!

1:47 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink


My hump was a pillow. Not just any pillow, this pillow. And if you're wondering what it means. It does reside on my bed. =)
3:28 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Burning like a candle at both ends.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
. Ya know, I keep getting e-mails with requests to do an audio post. I really don't know why anyone wants to hear my voice. But I'll think about it. If anyone tells me I have an accent, I may have to hurt you.

. No, I'm not gonna enlighten anyone about my Saturday. So, you can open your eyes now. I have been known to e-mail every now and then. But its really not that interesting.

. Ever been so bored that you start drooling on yourself?? Me too.

. I ripped my favorite pair of jeans. Ya know when ya finally find that perfect pair of jeans that hug your ass just right. So you wear them more than any other pair. Then they start to get that faded look. And ya like 'em even more. And they begin to develop small holes in the ass or ... somewhere. Then the small holes turn to bigger holes. Then eventually you have a hole so big that you could not possibly wear them out in public without being called a hoochie. Or something equally as pleasant. But as hard as you try, you just cannot throw them out. Today, I threw them out. Ahhh, the agony. So later, I am going shopping. And buying the exact same pair of jeans. If I can find them. And a new shirt. And a bra and panties. Maybe some perfume, and a lollipop. Hey, I'm mourning here. I deserve it.

. That's about all I've got for today. But it is hump day. So I'll do the...

Mind Hump.

Another Wednesday Mind Hump from our very own Friday! Thank you Susan, you're loved by many! xoxo

This Wednesday is Moon Day! HEY! Pull your pants back up!!! Not that kind of moon!!!

July 20th marks the anniversary of the first lunar landing in 1969. Did you know that the word "lunacy" is derived from the word lunar because it was once believed that people would be intermittently insane due to the phases of the moon. Soooooo

.... as a warm-up, using the letters L-U-N-A-C-Y reveal six peculiar activities or rituals you do only at night -- something that other people might consider somewhat looney or at the very least, a little odd. Okie dokie smokie -- now that we're warmed up we're going to have a little fun with free association aka "I say ____, you think ___". Ready? Set? C'mon -- let's hump like crazy!

Lighting incense. Jasmine. Mmm.
Underpants. I don't wear 'em. lol. To bed.
Not totally naked. I do wear one of those button up men's shirts. 
Always a radio playing. I cannot sleep without music.
Candles. I have to sleep with that soft glow of a few small candles.
Ya know, my room kinda sounds like a bad porno fire hazard.

01. diamonds : pearls
02. night : prowler
03. wrestle : I used to love Hulk Hogan.
04. blaze : fire. ( there seems to be a theme to this post)
05. candlestick : Lumiere. Ya know... from Beauty and the Beast. I loved his laugh. I do it at parties. I'm a big hit. Haha.
06. child : infant
07. tiptoe: through the tulips
08. homemade:apple pie
09. zoom : zoom zoom. hey zoom zoom zoom. (that commercial is always stuck in my head)
10. joint : pot
11. polka : dot
12. rhythm is gonna get ya.

Back by popular demand: The Guess-A-Hump!!

Think of an item ... any item...

...don't tell us what the item is. Now, describe that item in a brief paragraph (the size, the color, etc) but don't give it away. Okay, now you're ready to hump it up! Replace the name of the item with the word "hump". Other players will come to your blog and try to guess what your hump is. Tomorrow morning, add the answer to your hump and for big fun add a picture. If you don't have a camera do a Google image search.

A Simple Sample (you can be more creative than this): My hump is black. My hump has many places where I can put stuff. My hump is big. My hump has a strap ... what is my hump? Answer: My hump is my purse.

My hump is multi-colored. My hump is square and soft. My hump is fluffy. My hump has a picture on it. And... and... I suck at this. lol.

There it is, the incredible Wednesday Mind Hump, brought to you by those "one-sandwich-short-of-a-picnic" wenches over at BLOGDRIVE INSANITY!

3:07 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Self-destructive, much?

Tuesday, July 20, 2004
. The weekend was great. A very loooooong weekend, but great nonetheless. Hung out with old friends. Made new friends. And generally just had a good time.

. Friday I went to a club to meet up with a friend. From there we headed to another club that was hosting my sister's 10 year highschool reunion. Even though my sister happens to be older than I am, I was still friends with a lot of her classmates. I do believe I had one too many Yagerbombs, because I cannot remember half of the screen names and email addresses that I received from the reunion. We stayed at the club until it closed. From there, a group of about 12 of us went to a nearby friend's house. We played pool. We drank. We giggled. We jammed. We watched the sun come up. I didn't get home until 10am on Saturday morning. Still, I wasn't ready for bed. So I cleaned, I ate, I showered. I finally fell asleep at 2pm. I was supposed to meet a friend at 8pm that night. I didn't wake up until 9pm. I know, so irresponsible. I finally met my friend at 10pm.

. I won't go into detail about my Saturday evening/Sunday morning. I don't think I am quite ready for advice and/or comments about what it is I am doing. I'm still too confused about it myself.

. The rest of Sunday and all of Monday was spent with friends. Drinking, laughing, talking, watching lame movies. I was also seen running back and forth... Checking my voicemail, and offline Yahoo messages for those 2 days, conversing with someone that I shouldn't even be talking to at all. All the while being heckled by my friends, that I am a twit. Still, I had a blast.

. Just when I think things are going back to normal. Just when I feel okay about everything again. Someone comes along that draws me in. Like a magnet. When I least expect it. When I least want and/or need it. As much as I know that it is wrong. As much as I know that it will never work. As much as I know that someone is going to get hurt. I cannot stop what has started.

. My show is on tonight... Yeah, Outback Jack.

. And this is how I feel.

Artist: Walter Egan Lyrics
Song: Magnet and Steel Lyrics

Ooh, ooh, ah
Now, I told you so you ought to know (ooh,ooh,ah)
It takes some time for a feeling to grow (ooh,ooh,ah)
You're so close now I can't let you go (ooh,ooh,ah)
And I can't let go
With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel
With you I might try my secrets to reveal
For you are a magnet and I am steel

I can't hope that I'll hold you for long (ooh,ooh,ah)
I'm a woman who's lost in her song (ooh,ooh,ah)
But the love that I feel is so strong (ooh,ooh,ah)
And it can't be wrong
With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel
With you I might try my secrets to reveal
For you are a magnet and I am steel


With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel
With you I might try my secrets to reveal
For you are a magnet and I am steel
For you are a magnet and I am steel
For you are a magnet and I am steel.

6:12 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

I get bored.

Friday, July 16, 2004
I finished all the housework. Cooked and ate breakfast. Took a shower. Watched an episode of Buffy. And I even made 2 mix CD's. Now I'm bored. So I'm outta here for the weekend. Everyone had a good one. =)

(Had to take the pic down, it was blocking my blogroll.)

Told ya I was bored. |
9:46 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Waves crashing against the shore.

. I'm so glad its Friday. But then again, I'm not. Usually at least once during the weekend I would go out with my ex. Not out OUT. Just to eat or something before I would go out with my friends. I still miss him. But I'm dealing. I can't blame him, I can't hate him. I did break up with him. Loss hurts. We deal.

. I am going out alone tonight. I need my alone time. I'm gonna make my dad drive me and drop me off so no one will see my car. So... no one can find me. I love my friends and my family. But sometimes people just don't understand. I need to be alone. I mean, I know I'll be in a bar full of people. But they don't know me. Most of them. And they don't know what I am feeling at this moment. And just that... makes me feel better.

. Anyone that has Blogger, have you tried the new BlogThis! thingymabob?? Dude, it is so great. Instead of waiting for your posts to publish everytime you post... all you have to do is put BlogThis! in your toolbar somewhere, and use it instead of going to Blogger.com. Once you've typed up your post.. all you have to do is hit the publish button and you're done. No waiting for the progress of publishing. Once you hit publish, thats it. Its published. And you still have title, draft, link, bold, italics, spellcheck, and blog options. Anyway.. I am lazy and too tired to make a link. So if you have Blogger, I'm sure you won't have a problem finding it. Just scroll down when you're on your dashboard. Easy peasy.

. It is 4 in the morning. Why am I awake? Why? I hate my sleep patterns.

. Now I'm gonna go do the dishes, the laundry, the rest of the monotonous chores, and take a shower. Prepare for my Friday night. And... I'm hungry. So I leave you with this...

Scorpio - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're red hot passion makes anyone you date feel extremely wanted

Loyalty, to the point of doing anything to protect your lover

You are mysterious and charismatic - and you easily draw people in

Your negative traits:

You tend to be paranoid and think that the worst is going on with your lover

You turn cold and mean at the first sign of conflict in relationship

You sometimes become obsessed with dates - so much so that you develop jealousy early on

Your ideal partner:

Someone who will take the time to win you over. Not an easy task!

Is able to keep up with your carnal appetite... lots of stamina needed.

Reassures you of their love and loyalty on a daily basis.

Your dating style:

Intense. You prefer to stay in with take out and conversation - so that no one else is distracting you and your date.

Your seduction style:

Hot. New partners have trouble believing that your libido is for real.

You have incredible sexual intuition - you always know what your lover craves

A bit bossy. You know what you want, and you certainly aren't afraid to ask for it.

Tips for the future:

Don't be so secretive with your love - they want you the way you are

Let go of your jealousy. Your partner has chosen *you*

Spend more time alone, doing things you love. It will help you be less obsessive.

Best place to meet someone online:

eHarmony - your best bet at screening out untrustworthy people

Best color to attract mate: Dark red

Best day for a date: Tuesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

4:03 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Where do we go from here?

Thursday, July 15, 2004
. Blah to the 16th power.

. I feel fine. I really do. Sometimes I just cry. It's not like I need, or even want to. It just comes out. At the most unusual of times. Like last night, I was eating dinner with my Dad, and he asks me about my tuition because it raised AGAIN, of course. And I just start crying like a fool. He's all worried and asks me... "What, can you not pay it?". And I told him I already had it taken care of. So he asks why I'm crying. And I say "I don't know." Because, I don't. Well I do. But I had no idea it would affect me so much. So my Dad says we need to go out. He takes me to a local bar. We drink. We play pool. We play the jukebox. We listen to all the patrons spout out dirty jokes and whatnot. I giggled. Dad laughed. I didn't want to stay too long because we both had to get up early. So we came home, I was asleep by 11pm. And I was up at 3am. I tried to go back to sleep just for a couple of hours. No such luck. So here I am, posting about nothing much.

. After I finish everything I have to do today, I think I will come home and eat and watch an unhealthy amount of TV. Old movies (Cat On A Hot Tin Roof). Old episodes of Buffy, Roseanne, My So-Called Life, CSI, Without A Trace. Maybe. Yeah. I need alone time.

. Maybe I'll do a meme later. Try to anyway.

. One of my English Professors told me that I should pursue my writing. I did for awhile. But no matter what I get published. An article here, an essay there. In a newspaper here, a tiny magazine there. I never really get the feeling that I want. Sure, I feel good. But there is still something missing. If someone gives me a topic, I can ramble on for hours. But when I sit down to write from my own head, it mostly comes out in song. I'm seriously thinking of going back into vocal training. Maybe even starting guitar lessons. Just to see what happens. To see if it gives me the feeling I've been looking for. Because honestly, I have no clue what it is I am looking for. At all. Not just career-wise. In life.

. I've rambled enough, now I have to do a few fun things, or something. Have a great Thursday everyone.

.Saw this at Michael's.

misty Highway
Confusion Lane9
Study Hall22
County Jail39
Valley of Depression550
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

. Ha!

You're a Horny Drunk
After a few drinks you start to feel lonely. Hence
the reason you find the most readily available
person and start making out with them. Who
cares right? You can always use the excuse 'I
was sooo drunk!'.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

. I'm sorry. That one was just too accurate and funny.


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

. Okay then.

5:43 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Milking the cow.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004
. Things are about the same. But I'm fine. Even if I'm not, I will be.

. I'm seriously addicted to Outback Jack. I don't know why, but I love that show. Last night he sent Mary home. I think I would have sent Adrienne, but that's just me. And next week Marissa is back. Can't wait.

. I'm so moody lately that it scares people. I watched Cool Runnings the other night and I cried. Ya know, the movie about the Jamaican bobsled team. I've seen the movie a million times but when they tipped their bobsled and had to carry it over the finish line... Ahhh, it killed me.

. Songs that I can't stop listening to: Magnet & Steel - Walter Egan; Drive - The Cars.

Wednesday Mind Hump.

This Wednesday is Cow Appreciation Day so let's make this hump "udderly moovelous"! Using the letters of H-O-L-S-T-E-I-N list seven things on your fantasy wish list! The key word here is FANTASY!! So milk it for all it's worth!

Hormones - Wish I didn't have so damn many.
Ovaries - I need new ones.
Lasik Surgery - I'm sick of contacts.
Sand - I want the ocean to be right outside my front door.
Tons of money - Hey, who doesn't wanna be rich?
Energy - I never have any. I want it. In daily doses.
Invisibility - Sometimes, ya just need to be alone.
Nocturnal emissions - Never had one. Maybe I'd like it. lol.

Now that you're all warmed up let's do some "Getting To Know You" humping!

1. An artist paints your portrait while you are engaging in one of your favorite activities...what would you be doing? What would the title of the portrait be? Taking a bubble bath. - 'Obscure Intimacy.'

2. You come in a bottle and you have magical properties, what are you? Examples: genie, pancake syrup, etc... What would be on your instruction label? Raspberry scented body spray. Warning: Using large amounts of this product may cause deliriousness.

3. You've just been selected as a poster child for a make-believe organization. What is the organization and why have they specifically chosen you? BADP - Bloggers Againt Drunk Posting. Why did they choose me? Have you read some of my drunk posts? No... that's why I invented the delete button. That is why I am the poster child. Mwahaha.
'Friends don't let friends post drunk.'

4. "You can fly, you can fly, you can fly"! ...and you are NOT Peter Pan! Who or what are you? A bat. I sleep all day. I go out all night. I have been known to sleep hanging upside down. And rumor has it that I like to suck blood, and turn into a vampire. We all have our goals.

5. If you had a vanity horn on your vehicle (one which plays a song) what song would your horn blow to announce your arrival? She's a brick... HOUSE.

3:05 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Monday, July 12, 2004
. The weekend was a mixture of everything good and bad.

. Thursday was awful. My sister got a little tipsy and flew off the handle. She wanted to kick my ass. Why? Because that is just the way she is when she drinks alcohol. The next day she called me to say sorry. Of course I said it was okay. What could I say? I still feel sick about it. I really hate to whine, but I am so sick of being everyone's punching bag.

. Friday I went out with my Mom & Dad because they are getting along again this week. We went to a friend's wedding reception. I skipped the wedding. I'm not a big fan of the 'wedding'. It was a good time. Fun was had by all. Then on the way home I decided I wasn't done having fun, so I parted ways with Mom & Dad and headed to a friend's house. En route to this friend's house, I ran into another friend. This 'other' friend is someone I should not hang out with. We get too friendly at times and the rumors start to fly the next day. Regardless, I went to his house. Things got... intimate, but I did not have sex. He didn't want me to leave. I waited until he fell asleep, and then I hightailed it outta there. Why? Because that is what I do.

. Saturday was supposed to be my adventure to Ohio for the outdoor concert. I was going with my ex and several other friends. For those that do not know, my ex and I are best friends, even though we've been broken up for a long period of time. He still feels the need to know each and everything I do. I lie to him sometimes because I don't think its anyones business what I do. And because I do not want to hurt him. So yeah... He calls me in the morning and asks what I did the night before. I tell him I went out with Mom & Dad, and went home with them as well. Well....... seems another one of our friends called him and told him that I was with this 'other' friend the night before. So the ex tells me off, big time. He tells me that I am nothing but a liar, a whore, a slut. All of that good stuff. Then he tells me that I am not going to the concert with him and he never wants to speak to me again. I of course, cannot blame him. I mean... I did lie. But ya know... I can do what I want. I am a legal, single, woman. And we have been broken up for a long time. I can't keep living my life with him as my top priority. It is my life. I know I shouldn't have lied. I know that. But, I really didn't want to hurt him. I feel so bad. I've lost my best friend. It hurts. But maybe it was for the best? I tried to talk to him. I can't. We can't keep living this way when one person feels something that the other does not. What is a girl to do?

. So to drown my sorrows, I went out alone. To drink. To think. To just be alone. But that never works. My aunt found me. We drank, we danced, we giggled. Then we went to a party. There was a pool. We swam in our bra's and underpants. We drank. We stayed in that pool until it was daylight. Then we went home and slept our lives away for 12 hours. That felt good.

. Now I feel like crap again. I miss my best friend. I hate that I hurt him. I hate that I can't make things better for everyone. I hate that I am whining. On my blog. I don't mean to hurt him. I don't. I lie so as not to hurt him. I am an awful person.

. I wrote of all this Sunday and saved it as a draft because I didn't know if I wanted to post it. I still haven't talked to my ex. He doesn't want to talk to me. I cry. I feel bad. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I want him in my life. He's always been a part of my life. I just don't want him as my boyfriend. Is that selfish of me? Should I just let him go? I want him to be happy, I do. But I thought we could remain friends without it hurting him too much. Maybe I was wrong, again. I cry more. It takes every part of my being not to pick up the phone and call him. Just to say hi. Just to see how he is doing. Just to say I'm sorry again. I know I'll begin to feel better, but that doesn't bother me. I really want to know that he will be okay. I mean, I know that he will. I just want him to tell me that. Does it seem like I want him to relieve me of my guilt? Thats not what it is... its not. I love him. I do. With all that I have. As much as I possibly can. Sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Sometimes, love just ain't enough. by Don Henley & Patti Smyth

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.


And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

. Please be kind when commenting. I know I'm not perfect. |
11:47 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Honesty and the cha-cha.

Monday Music Mambo - Week 16

It's that time again. It's time to dance the Mambo. Are you wacky enough to dance it with us? I bet you are!

I'm going to get us warmed up with a little "I say...You think..." musical style.

dance: with me - 112
club: in da club - 50 cent
saturday night:fever - soundtrack
strobe: light - the b52's
boogie: fever - the sylvers
fever: dog - stillwater
jazz: all that jazz - chicago
chorus: choir

Now it's time to get the Mambo on. Are you all ready?

1. Have you ever done any line dances like the electric slide or the Macarena? A few times. The electric slide. The booty call.

2. Do you like to dance? All the friggin' time.

3. Where's your favorite place to dance? Anywhere and everywhere.

4. When you dance, what's your favorite kind of music to dance to? Anything and everything.

5. What one dance best describes your personality? The funky chicken.

As always, when you finish Mamboing, come back and leave a comment here so we can come dance with you and share the Mamboing insanity.

Monday Madness.

Let's try some 'true or false' questions this week! Feel free to elaborate as you wish!

1. I like my job. - False. I do not have a job. I am a full time student.

2. I find time to 'smell the flowers' so to speak. - False. I'd like to think that I do. But I don't always.

3. I have no problem thinking of things to write about in my blog. True. I do not have a problem thinking of things to blog about, I just don't know if most of it is fit for human consumption.

4. 'Organization' is my middle name! - False. So totally false. I am so scatter brained.

5. If 'Plan A' doesn't work, there's always a 'Plan B.' - False. I never even have a Plan A.

6. I adjust easily to new surroundings. -True.

7. I'd rather work 'behind the scenes' than 'in the spotlight.' - True. Either way is fine by me.

8. I'm happy where I am, at this point in my life. - False. I'm just not.

9. I can wake up in the morning without an alarm clock. False. So freaking false. I need a chainsaw to wake me up.

10. I can function pretty well on less than 8 hours of sleep. - True. I rarely ever get 8 hours of sleep.

5:39 AM :: ::

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If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.

Friday, July 09, 2004
. I've met Dwight Yoakum, Joe Nichols, Bryan White, and Ken Mellons. Just thought I'd tell ya that. Why? I dunno. lol.

. Had to hop on the bandwagon and post mine. I have seen this everywhere, so who do I give credit to? All of ya's...

Wackiness: 64/100
Rationality: 36/100
Constructiveness: 48/100
Leadership: 50/100

You are a WEDF Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a menace to society, depending on how you channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didnt try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.

. Saw this one at Kelly's and Insane Faery's.

Act your age?: I would. If I was 16.
Born on what day of the week?: Monday. Maybe thats why I loathe them.
Chore you hate?: DISHES!
Dads name?: Jon.
Essential makeup item?: foundation.
Favorite actor(s)?: Vin Diesel, Viggo Mortensen.
Gold or silver?: Silver.
Hometown?: Waverly, WV.
Instruments you play?: I can really rock the mic. lol.
Job title?: Student.
Kids?: None.
Living arrangements?: Recently moved back in with my Dad.
Mums name?: Phyllis.
Need?: Fun.
Overnight hospital stays?: I was in the hospital for over 2 weeks once. If ya wanna know, ask. Its a bit too personal to be posted. Other than that, nothing serious.
Phobias?: Porta-potties. lol. I'm sooo serious.
Quote you like?: "Even though I'm full of sin, in the end you'll let me in."
Religious affiliation?: None right now.
Siblings: One older sister, Kelli.
Time you wake up?: During the semester, 6am. On break... Whenever I want.
Unique talent?: I can chug a beer like nobody's business. lol.
Vegetable you refuse to eat?: Tomatoes gross me out.
Worst habit?: So many to choose from.. Drinking? maybe.
Xrays youve had?: A few. Chest, abdomen, ultrasounds. Cat-scans.
Yummy food you make?: Pepperoni rolls.
Zoo animal you like?: Camels.
4:48 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

It ain't easy being me.

Thursday, July 08, 2004
Saw this at Kelly's. Fun, indeed.

Take the quiz: "Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "

Ta me air meisce
Ta me air meisce - 'I am drunk.'You enjoy a drink - or five - now and then. You can usually be found in a pub - it doesn't matter which one, because they all look the same after a few drinks - or hugging the porcelain. |
1:49 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

The midnight sky.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004
. The LONG weekend was good. Wasn't great. But I had fun nonetheless. Once I saw those fireworks light up the midnight sky... I knew. This, my friend, is life. Yeah, I don't need to wax poetic on the importance of me watching fireworks. Anyways.. I finally have a few minutes to update. So here goes.

. I'm trying to make this summer as fun-filled as possible. This weekend I will be attending an outdoor concert in Ohio. The Southern Rock All-Stars. I've always been a fan of Molly Hatchet and Blackfoot. So it should be good fun.

. I don't have all of the details as of yet, but at the end of August, I will be doing something I've always wanted to do. Hot air balloon ride. I cannot wait. I am so excited. I could pee in my pants.

. Things are feeling better, ya know? Like this finally will be the summer that I do some of the things I've always wanted to do.

. So yeah, things are good. I'm feeling great. Just a little busy. So I may have to do Theater Thursday a little early this week. Barry is on vacation. Hope he's having fun.

. Tomorrow... I am dying my hair back to blonde.

. New obsession: Outback Jack.

. Current singer I cannot get enough of : Melissa Etheridge. I can't explain it, but a few of her songs are just really sticking with me these last few weeks. Especially "Come To My Window" , and "Let Me In".

. That's all I've got for now. Tune in next time. |
11:33 PM :: ::

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TV Tuesday

I've missed several weeks because things have been so hectic. But I'm gonna stay up late tonight, just to catch up. Here we go...

Week 17 - Daytime TV

Everyone knows all of us who "stay at home" for one reason or another do nothing but sit and watch TV right? That was a joke, just for the record. Most people get a chance to watch TV at some point during the day and this week we're going to explore your watching habits! This week's topic is daytime TV!

1. Daytime TV: "Gimme my soaps", "Talk shows please", "More of a Game show person", or "Home shows are best!!" I really do not like any of those. If I ever watch television during the day, it is old reruns for me.

2. One of the latest trends in Daytime TV is re-runs of 80's & 90's hit shows, what is your favorite that's re-running now? If you don't have one which show would you like to see re-running? I'm loving me some Buffy, Roseanne, Friends. Just to name a few.

3. What's your all time favorite day time show? Umm, local weather. lol.

~Bonus~ There's lots of noise about Daytime soaps pushing the limits of what's acceptable on TV, but the soaps claim they're just keeping up with changes in society, so which is it? Are the soaps over the edge? Or has society brought it on itself? I really don't know. I haven't watched a soap in over 5 years.

Remember to leave your link or answers in the comments!! :)

11:19 PM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Happy 4th of July.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Now I must do a party meme.

PARTY IN fridayfiver!!!

* pulls out the keg and Jell-O shots*

1. What kind of parties do you like? Big beer bashes? Small get-togethers? Big, huge, end-of-the-world beer bashes.

2. Do you play drinking games? Which ones? Are you any good at them? Oh yeahhh. I love drinking games. I am the grand poo-bah of flippy cup. You cannot beat me. Try me. I dare ya. =)

3. What was the best party experience you've ever had? The worst? Hmm. The best was July 4th 2 years ago. So many people. So much fun. All in my backyard. The worst... had a lot of those. Alcohol does that. Ya know.

4. Do you feel snacks are an important part of a party? What do you like to munch on? I cannot eat while I drink. Kills the buzz. But afterwards. I pig out. Mainly pizza.

5. Have you ever thrown a wild party while your parents were out of town? What happened? Yes. Never got in trouble. They always knew. They didn't really mind.

That's all folks. Let the party weekend begin.
8:39 AM :: ::

misty kissed this :: permalink

Ya know what I mean? Happy July.

Thursday, July 01, 2004
. I'm feeling closed in. One of those airless days. When ya just can't seem to get far enough away from your own head. Know what I mean? Ehh... probably not.

. I still feel like I never have any time to blog. I haven't had a chance to do a meme in weeks and when I finally do, blogger eats it.

. I went out with my father last night. He was already drunk when he got home and he wanted to go somewhere. I did not want him to drive, so I played babysitter and drove him. We went to a local bar. We drank, we played pool, we sang old John Prine songs, and we got a ride home.

. Today I had to go get my car, make 4982656745 phone calls regarding bills, school, and the like, and I still have to clean the house and cook supper. Then I have a date at 7pm. And I haven't even had a shower. So why am I sitting at the computer? Because... I don't feel like doing all of the above. lol.

. It is just a little difficult being a 20something daughter, living with your 50something father. He won't let me pay any of the bills. He tells me to keep the house clean and make supper. Well, I want to pay. I feel I need to pay. He already took care of me for 18 years. Its my turn. That is the number one reason that I moved here instead of getting my own place. Ya know... after I broke off my engagement, I could have moved anywhere, but I want to keep an eye on my father. After my parents divorced last year, he started drinking heavily. Now that she won't speak to him at all.. it is progressively worse. I've tried everything I can think of to help. But now... I just listen. He's even been having flashbacks of Vietnam. Which I wrote about in a previous post but did not give details. I feel funny even writing about it now. Is it something I should keep private? How do I decide what I can and cannot write about. There is a delete button if I ever needed it. Anyway... I just had to vent. I love my dad more than anything. In case you didn't know. =)

. Saw this over at Barry's. Had to do it.

You are Lime.
You are quirky and misunderstood. You are
definitely your own person. You don't let
anyone tell you who you should be. You never
sell out your values and beliefs, no matter
what. However, you can sometimes have trouble
fitting in, but only because you are
Most Compatible With: Wintergreen

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

. 'Your daddy never meant to hurt you ever. He just don't live here, but you've got his eyes.' - 75,000 Misty points* to whoever can tell me the singer and name of the song these lyrics come from. No cheating. Keep your mouse off of that search button.

3:33 PM :: ::

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