seductive kisses
seductive kisses

To better understand, we must learn.

Monday, August 02, 2004
. What happened to July? It was here a minute ago. The summer is going by way too fast.

. The weekend is over. Le sigh. Friday I went out alone. Drank, played pool, had sex. (not alone) Ha. Yeah... its pretty sad when ya laugh at your own jokes, huh? Saturday was pretty much the same. Sunday afternoon I had Halee and Zack for 4 or 5 hours. After that I was almost ready to just go to bed. But I didn't. I went out again. Debauchery ensued. I know some of you want details, but thats not gonna happen here. Use your imagination... or e-mail me.

. I'm not going to go into detail about the reasons behind it, but... for 3 years I raised my nephew, Zack. I also raised Halee but for not quite that long. Zachary was born with microcephaly. As in most cases of this disease, Zack was also born with developmental delay and mental retardation. From the time Zack was born, I could tell something wasn't right. He never cried. Ever. All the doctors and nurses told me that I should be thankful, not worried, that he didn't cry. Finally, after many repeated attempts to persuade his doctor to refer me to a specialist, Zack was diagnosed as being 'developmentally delayed'. It wasn't until months later, after finally getting Zack an appointment 2 states away in Kentucky's Shriner's Hospital, that Zack was finally diagnosed with microcephaly. In the beginning, the doctors told me that Zack's case was severe. That he would never walk. That he would never talk. That he would not even be able to hold his own head up. That his life expectancy was no more than 10 years. But I wasn't listening. I instantly put Zack in school. A school for special needs kids. I went with him too, of course. But the school wasn't what I expected. I expected to see kids like Zack. Every child in that class could walk. Zack could barely sit up. I cried. Right there in front of all the kids, teachers, and therapists. I cried. Hard. It was only the second time I had cried since finding out about Zack's condition. The first time was when they told me that he had microcephaly. I was with my mother and Zack's father. None of us cried. We were in shock, I think. I didn't want to cry in front of Zack. But as we started the long drive home, I heard his father start to cry in the backseat, I cried with him. Since that day, I never cried about it again. I wouldn't let myself. I had to be strong. I had to do what I could for Zack. I had to. Until that day in school. It all hit me at once. And I cried. After I regained my composure I realized that the class wasn't so bad. It was just what Zack needed. I also had a physical therapist come to the house 3 times a week. She was great and she taught me so many things so very well that I was able to do Zack's therapy myself. Eventually, Zack began to do things on his own. He couldn't talk, but he could sure as hell cry now. He couldn't walk but he gets where he wants to go. He scoots around on his butt. He can stand on his own now. He can pull himself up onto his bed. He can go anywhere he wants to. But he's still only 6 years old. Pretty good for a kid that wasn't even expected to sit up by himself. The last time we took Zack to Kentucky, they gave us more bad news. They told us that he would never walk or talk. That those are learned behaviors from birth to age 3 and that if he didn't learn it by the time he was 3 he never would. That's ok. I won't quit. Ever. I know what Zack is trying to tell me without words. We don't need 'em do we? I know my sentences are jumbled and I went back and forth so many times you probably got lost on this story, I'm sorry. Its an emotional subject. Those were 3 very rough years. Spending the day with Zack yesterday brought all those old memories back to me. But the reason for this post is mainly awareness. I think it is the saddest thing when a parent doesn't understand their own child's disease. I know most parents with a disabled child are very well educated on the matter. But I've met a few that aren't. Its a very scary thing. It leaves you with the sickest feeling in your stomach. These people need to educate themselves to better learn how to care for their special child. Read about it, talk about it, ask questions, ask for help. It is out there.

11:55 AM :: ::
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