seductive kisses
seductive kisses

Happy Holidays.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
It's almost here. Almost over. I really enjoy the holidays, but I'm just so tired. I need a break already.

My niece comes up to me today and says... "My cousin says that there is no such thing as Santa." Oy. She's 3 years old and already questioning the validity of Santa.

I won't be blogging much 'til the holidays are over. Still so much to do and no time to do it. Happy Holidays to all of ya.

You Were a Little Naughty This Year!

While you're not likely to greet Santa with sucker punch...
He's still not too jolly about coming to your house.
You might get a small token from Mr. Claus
Like some detox pills for your liver.

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Yes, I am a naughty girl. But I'm a Nice Naughty girl. Heh. |
2:29 PM :: ::

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Stuffing your stocking.

Monday, December 20, 2004
I suck when it comes to shopping for other people. I ask and ask and ask them what they would like to have. They always answer with the perfunctory "I don't know". So I end up buying the most useless crap in the world, with receipt in hand so they can exchange anything and everything. With the kids, it doesn't matter. They get excited just tearing up the wrapping paper. With the adults, it's hard to tell. They always smile and say thanks, but there is always that sideways glance that looks as though they're looking for the nearest trashcan.

Last year, I totally lost my mind and bought my mom a huge lion head fountain for her garden/patio area. That big bastard cost $169. I was thinking it was revenge for all of her years of never telling me what she wanted. She loves the hideous thing. She calls it "Romanesque". I bought my dad a million chocolate covered cherries because everytime I asked what he wanted, he would say Chocolate Covered Cherries. I bought him like 15 boxes. They were gone in 3 weeks. I thought he was going to give them away to family. But he ate them all. Dad... that is so not healthy.

This year... you're all getting gift cards. Except for the kids. |
2:11 PM :: ::

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3 things.

Friday, December 17, 2004
3 Names You Go By:
1. Misty.
2. Mis (even though it pisses me off)
3. Trouble

3 Screennames You Have:
1. Magicrazberi
2. shutupandtouchme
3. kung foo betty

3 Things You Like About Yourself:
1. I really enjoy my hair. On my head. I really do.
2. Money doesn't matter to me. (Maybe because I never have any. But when I do, I spend it on everyone else.)
3. I rarely get angry. And I even when I am angry, I never lose my temper.

3 Things You Hate/Dislike About Yourself:
1. I'm very impatient.
2. I procrastinate too much. I'm the laziest person that I know.
3. I'm too reckless.

3 Parts of Your Heritage:
1. German.
2. Irish.
3. Cheroke Indian.

3 Things That Scare You:
1. Failure.
2. Making the wrong choices when it comes to my niece and nephew.
3. Being alone.

3 of Your Everyday Essentials (I'm not quite postive that this meant websites, but I do as Barry does.)(Was that even a sentence? Is my dyslexia showing again?)
1. Inn of the Last Home.
2. Drips of Scarcasm.
3. Diary of a Music Whore.

3 Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Jeans.
2. Blue Hoodie.
3. A torturous device known as a bra.

3 of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
1. Otis Redding will always be my favorite.
2. Fleetwood Mac.
3. Willie Nelson.

3 of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
1. Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Redding.
2. The Chain - Fleetwood Mac.
3. Whiskey River - Willie Nelson.

3 New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
1. A vacation. Yeah, I'd like to try that.
2. New baking recipes. I'm sick of baking cobbler and pepperoni rolls.
3. Some sort of sleep clinic. 8 straight hours, that's all I want!

3 Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):
1. Honestly, I'd rather not have a relationship at this time...
2. N/A.
3. N/A.

Two Truths and a Lie:Which is the lie? Guess in the Comments.
1. I was once arrested for stealing a car.
2. I used to be a waitress at a topless bar.
3. I have an unnatural fear of public restrooms.

3 Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You:
1. Smile. I like lips.
2. The butt.
3. The feet. If they aren't taking care of their feet, chances are they aren't taking care of anything else.

3 Things You Just Cant Do:
1. Wink. I really can't wink. So lame, I know.
2. Program a VCR.
3. Wake up happy. I'm so not a morning person.

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Singing.
2. Blogging & reading blogs.
3. Reading.

3 Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
1. Sleep.
2. Eat.
3. Sleep.

3 Careers Youre Considering:
1. Journalism.
2. Criminalistics.
3. Sleeping. (It could be a career.)

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1. New Zealand.
2. Bahamas.
3. The Gator Bowl.

3 Kids Names:
1. Skippy.
2. Zippy.
3. Pip.

3 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. There's no way I could limit it to 3... Sorry.
3. |
2:50 PM :: ::

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Insanity levels are rising.

People act all crazy during the holidays. Shopping has become a full contact sport. I'd be almost afraid to finish my Christmas shopping if it weren't for all the Tae-Bo I've been doing lately. ( I ate one too many pies at Thanksgiving.)In the past three weeks I have seen ladies (and gentleman) buying trash cans, ( coolers, hampers, and even luggage) stuffing them full of merchandise. They then proceed to the check out line thinking that the cashier will not even look inside of the aforementioned items. When the cashier does lift the lid and sees the cornucopia of prizes inside, she starts scanning them. The customer then goes into a rage shouting that those items are not hers and she is not paying for them. Chaos ensues. Things are thrown. Yes, thrown. Managers are summoned. Authorities are called.

I find it all quite amusing. Except for the cashiers. They have to put it up with that all day, then go do their own shopping at night.

The funniest episode involved a woman trying to get away with stuffing a trash can full of merchandise. When the cashier lifted the lid and saw all of these things inside, she asked the lady if she was going to pay for all the stuff, or had she decided that she didn't want it. The lady instantly started screaming obscenities, calling the cashier a bitch more than once. When the manager arrived and said he was calling the authorities, the lady ran off screaming the bitch word several more times.

I really wanted to see someone chase her, but it didn't happen.

'Tis the season. |
9:53 AM :: ::

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Snow makes me hungry.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It's not even 10 A.M. yet, and I have already devoured 3 slices of cold pizza, 2 chocolate covered cherries, a can of Dr. Pepper, and a can of Mt. Dew. |
9:53 AM :: ::

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What was I thinking?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Well, I have got to be the dumbest person in the world. I went ahead and bought my own domain and had Movable Type installed. And I don't know how to freaking use it. I just thought I'd have it installed and then I'd type and publish as usual. Well, no. There's so many template parts that I have no freaking clue what to do. There's a help manual and everything, but I have no time to read all of it. I just want someone to set up my nice little blog. It doesn't have to be pretty. Just a plain design like the one I have now. Pink, black, gray, and white. Maybe red. That's all I need. So I can continue to type and publish like I always do. I knew I shouldn't have bought it, but it was impulse. What can I say? I have the archive, and index templates so screwed up. I'm so lost.

There's just no time for me to try and do it. It's too difficult to get much time at all when you're taking care of 2 children. One that is handicapped. If even one would be so kind as to help me out here, it would be much appreciated. I'll mail you a Christmas gift. I'll give ya tons of linky love. I'll donate what I can, but money is tight with Christmas so near.

Is anyone MT template savvy out there, who has a little bit of free time and a very big heart? Anyone? Hmm...?

I'll give ya my password and login name. I'm not worried. I know you're not going to use them for anything... unnatural.

Help. (Yes, that was my lame call for help.)

UPDATE: The wonderful Miss Zoot has agreed to design my blog. Go give her much love.
11:34 AM :: ::

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In the news.

Monday, December 13, 2004
It's colder than a well digger's ass.

You may ask, how would I know how cold a well digger's ass can get? I really don't.

But can you tell me how you know that a witch's tit gets cold? Because she get's no action? It's always covered up? Ehh, because she's always flying on her broom , and the air up there is cold?

I'm going to bake a peach cobbler now.

10:24 AM :: ::

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Karaoke - (Carry - Oh, Key).

Friday, December 10, 2004
I admit it, I am guilty of singing on Karaoke night. It's quite addictive, really. Once you get up there with mic in hand and let your pipes loose. People start hootin' and hollerin'. ( I live in WV, and yes, we hoot and holler.) I usually never sing at all. Most karaoke nights, I skip altogether. But there an occasional few nights that I have drank one too many and sang one too many. Now, for the most embarrassing part. My song list.

When I actually do take a turn on karaoke night, I most often sing one song and one song only. "Fancy", by Reba McEntire.

I've also been know to sing :

Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield.
Jewel - You Were Meant For Me.
Heart - Magic Man.
The Divinyls - I Touch Myself (Reserved soley for those very drunk nights.)

Tonight is karaoke night. For the love of all things holy, lock me up. You'd be doing the crowd a real favor.
1:30 PM :: ::

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Snores and awards.

Thursday, December 09, 2004
I can't sleep. I toss and turn all night. I try to sleep on one side and something falls asleep (usually my arm or a butt cheek. yes, just one), but I never do. So I switch to the other side. Same thing. I turn on music, I turn off music. I turn on the TV, I turn off the TV. I count sheep, I count dirty spots on the ceiling. (What the hell is that, anyway?) If I fall asleep right now, I will get 4 hours of sleep. 3 hours. 2. 1. Time to get up. I've tried sleeping pills. But I do not like the thought of having to be medicated at night. What if the kids needed me? What if there was an emergency? What if someone called me for a booty call? Heh.

What helps you fall asleep?

And BTW... there is a new arrival of blog awards.

BoB. Best of Blog awards. Found here, here, and here. I'm too lazy to tell you about it myself. |
2:26 PM :: ::

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If you fall down, I will laugh at you.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I find it amusing when people fall down. I'm not really sure why. Some sick, twised part of me is hoping it hurt just a little bit. I really don't know. But nothing makes me laugh harder than when I see someone fall down. Now, if it looks really painful or if it is a child doing the falling, it does not amuse me.

I used to pay my sister to fall down. If we would go shopping together I would give her $20 before we left just so she would fall down in the store. And she always did it. We'd be strolling down the toilet paper aisle, and BOOM. She'd fall on her ass. And even though I knew that she was going to do it, it still made me laugh so hard that I almost peed in my pants. People would be staring. They probably thought I was sadistic. Here I am, lauging my ass off at this girl that just fell on her ass.

My aunt fell last night. Right smack dab in the middle of a mud puddle. I held back my laughter until I made sure that she was okay. She was. But she wouldn't get out of the puddle. She looked right at me and said... "I'm not moving." We were in a friend's driveway about to go inside his house, and she falls in a mud puddle. After I had a good 20 minute laugh, I tried to coax her out of the mud puddle, but she wouldn't budge. She said no one was going to see her "all dirty". I told her to stop being a girl and get out of the puddle. She just sits there, indian style, in the puddle. That made me laugh even harder. When she finally did get out of the puddle, her keys were gone. They were still in the puddle. So, of course, I had to dig around in a mud puddle to find them. Guess that's what I get for laughing at her.

So, what makes you laugh harder than anything? |
9:30 AM :: ::

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The eyes have it.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I have very sensitive eyes, and I wear contacts. Not a good combo. Every now and then my eyes (or eye, sometimes it's just one)will get infected. It twitches, it oozes, it burns. Haha. Sounds more like my nether regions. Well, not mine. You know what I mean. So yeah... where was I? My right eye is messing with me today. It feels like someone stuck a hot poker in it. And every few minutes a single, solitary tear will slide down my cheek. I tell people I have the pink eye and they better stay back. THE PINK EYE. Kinda like the funk, but not.

The last time one of my eyes got seriously sensitive, I went to my eye doctor. He checked me out, called in a prescription, la la la. I went to the drug store. Ordered my teeny, tiny, little bottle of eye drops. $80. Eighty freaking dollars for a week's worth of eye juice. WTF?

Today, I go hunting for my still half-full bottle of eyedrops from those many months ago. GONE. How hard is it gonna be to talk the doc, or the pharmacy dude into letting me have an $80 bottle of eyedrops free?... for Christmas, of course.

2:43 PM :: ::

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I think, therefore I blog.

Monday, December 06, 2004
Actually, I haven't done all that much blogging lately. Or thinking for that matter. I haven't had much to blog about. Or time to blog.

I've been thinking about getting my own domain and installing MT. (But I don't have the patience or the time to learn how to install it.) Or even moving over to MSN Spaces. Blogger is just too difficult at times. So I don't even bother blogging half of the time. Only time will tell.

Anywho, it's always around this time of year that the lists start popping up. The best and worst of the year... yada yada yada. So why not join the fun. Here is my top 5 list of sayings that I hope to NEVER hear again.

5. That's hot. - (Please shut up already, Paris & Nicole.)
4. You're fired. - (It's not fun anymore, Donald.)
3. Aldfsija asidjasjas &*%#%#. - (Lay off the crack, Anna Nicole.)
2. Anything that comes out of Ashlee Simpon's mouth. ( Save that voice honey. Acid reflux is a killer. Or was it laryngitis? No wait, the band screwed up.)
1. Git 'R Done. - (If I hear one more person use this line, I just might vomit in their pocket.)

So people, what is your top 5?

10:10 AM :: ::

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In my heart.

Friday, December 03, 2004
My nephew is the strongest kid I have ever or will ever know. Everything little thing he does makes me smile. I will do everything that I can for him. It breaks my heart that he must live with disease. But it warms my heart to know that he does it everyday, and never gives up. Everyday he tries harder. Everyday he amazes me more and more. In the beginning, they told me he would never even sit up by himself. But he does so much more than that. He is my heart.

My niece is 3. Most kids do not know how to react around my nephew, or any specila needs child for that matter. My niece is amazing. If my nephew tries to pull her hair or anything, she slowly moves his hand away from her and waits for his tantrum to be over. The she looks at him and says... "It'll be okay, brother." How can you not be amazed by the patience of this 3 year old? She, is also my heart.

Have a great weekend, everyone. =) |
3:04 PM :: ::

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When you wish upon a star.

Thursday, December 02, 2004
I found this at Michael's.

Step One:

*Make a post to your weblog/journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, big or small. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

*If you wish for real life things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

*Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two:

*Surf around your blogroll (or friend's blogrolls, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

*If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

*You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

*There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Here is my list:

1. TiVo.
2. Peace, joy, and happiness for all.
3. Anything from my Amazon Wish List.
4. Labyrinth DVD.
5. Patience.
6. Understanding.
7. Love.
8. A white Christmas.
9. A vacation. For an entire week. ME TIME.
10. Someone to install and design a new MT blog for me.(I'm computer illiterate.)

I know that no one could possibly help me with over half of my wishes. But just sending happy thoughts my way helps. =)

11:34 AM :: ::

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